Women at Work
Complete the story provided above. To earn full points you must write, at least, 8-10 sentences. What happens next?
Finish the Story
One day you are walking along the deck of the ship when you hear a loud bang.
You start to run as you see smoke coming from the far end of the ship. You run towards the room
where your patients are waiting to receive treatment from the doctor. Just as you arrive at the
door to their room you hear another loud bang and you see smoke and fire in the room
nurses getting patients and carrying them out to rescue boats you start
helping other nurses. Another bang goes off and the deck starts breaking
apart as your Carrying an injured soldier to get him on a rescue boat you
need to jump to get a cross to the next recuse boat his Knee is all bloody
and swollen so it’s gonna be a struggle to get him across you jump over pulling
him with you he only just makes as a bored falls off into the ocean you get him
safely. You have to run back but the gap keeps getting bigger the rough
sea isn’t helping it. You get in the door fire is rising you here coughing and
screaming of soldier and nurses some are dead you see your friend she’s
crying she runs up to you tears trickling down her cheeks were lucky we
make it out of her alive then BANG! You wake up alive in a rescue boat
your friend alive you fall back asleep... 12 lines
You start to run as you see smoke coming from the far end of the ship. You run towards the room
where your patients are waiting to receive treatment from the doctor. Just as you arrive at the
door to their room you hear another loud bang and you see smoke and fire in the room
nurses getting patients and carrying them out to rescue boats you start
helping other nurses. Another bang goes off and the deck starts breaking
apart as your Carrying an injured soldier to get him on a rescue boat you
need to jump to get a cross to the next recuse boat his Knee is all bloody
and swollen so it’s gonna be a struggle to get him across you jump over pulling
him with you he only just makes as a bored falls off into the ocean you get him
safely. You have to run back but the gap keeps getting bigger the rough
sea isn’t helping it. You get in the door fire is rising you here coughing and
screaming of soldier and nurses some are dead you see your friend she’s
crying she runs up to you tears trickling down her cheeks were lucky we
make it out of her alive then BANG! You wake up alive in a rescue boat
your friend alive you fall back asleep... 12 lines
Hi Rikki-Lee.
ReplyDeleteYou are doing such a great job with your Summer Learning Journey, you must be learning lots of new information! I really like the descriptive words you have used in your story such as trickling, struggle, swollen and rough which have made it interesting to read. I think that to earn full points you need to write 8-10 sentences and it's great to see that you ended one of your sentences with an exclamation mark.
Hope you are enjoying your holidays!
Miss Power
Kia ora Rikki-Lee,
ReplyDeleteYou have done a great job putting yourself into the shoes of the character in this story. It's great to see you have used your imagination to continue the story. I like the way you have used onomatopoeia in the word "BANG" to describe what sound was heard. I also like that you have written "BANG" in capital letters. This is very effective and in my mind, I read it as a loud bang! Maybe you could draw a picture to add to your story.
Have you heard of the saying "a picture is worth a thousand words"? What do you think this means?
Keep up the great blogging!
Noho ora mai,
Emiely :)